Monday, February 6, 2012

Ultrasound and the return of nervousness....

So today was the first ultrasound and I found myself sitting in the waiting room of the ultrasound place with the return of the nervousness...the anxiousness of the first look. So many expections are wrapped up in the first appointment...will there be little baby there, will there be evidence of anything at all, will there be heartbeat...so many things to think about. But in the midst of the anxiousness, we bravely walked into the room together and saw our little guy's (or gal's) heartbeat!! It was pure magic. We saw it instantly and instantly i was connected. All the nervousness melted away and I found myself verified in all the symptoms I had been feeling over the last week. All those times where I felt little twinges meant that it was "normal". I don't know normal. I have never known what normal is in terms of pregnancy. I can only find myself comparing it to what I know to be abnormal...which for me is normal. So there was a lot of relief for me today in regards to what is considered "normal". I now know that at least for me...what i've been experiencing can be categorized as normal. We saw the little heartbeat beating so strongtly at 122 BPMs and measuring less than .25 inch at 6 weeks 4 days. It was awesome. And so now...we press on to next week...living not in fear of what the future could hold...but in trust that God of this universe hold the future.

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