Weird

So tonight I turned off my Sunday morning alarm. I turned off the alarm that has gone off at 5:30 am for the last 3+ years. And to some this might seem like a reason to be ecstatic. And believe me...if the circumstances were different and this were a vacation...I would have been ecstatic. But it was just weird...and a little sad. For more than 3 years I have had the awesome opportunity to be a part of a church plant. NewSpring Church affected my life in ways I would have never expected it to. Who would have thought that I would have learned so much?! Not only have I learned what it takes to run a church from behind the scenes, but I have also had the chance apply the biblical guidelines for my life as believer into my real life. I have seen lives changed because of NewSpring. I have seen God use hard times to build character into his earthly kingdom. I have learned deeper what it means to TRULY be committed to Christ and the reason He placed me on this earth. I have learned that having a servants heart and attitude goes further than just being a nice person sitting in the seats on a Sunday morning. And because of that important lesson...God has allowed me to experience the joy of seeing lives changed and that makes me smile...and THAT makes me understand why God puts so much importance in a committment to His standards. On the surface those "standards" might look a lot like rules. But those "standards" have changed my life over the years and those "standards" brought way more joy to my heart than I EVER would have expected. Those joys that I have felt while serving and being committed to NewSpring...are irreplaceable. Yes...church plants are hard...yes it is frustrating sometimes to see people who just don't get it...frustrating being the first to get there on Sunday's and the last to leave...frustrating to see people with the wrong perception of what being committed to the church means...frustrating to see those people who are missing out on what it means to commit to not just a life in Christ, but a life being lived IN Christ. But in the end...it isn't the frustrations that dictate my life...it is the joy I feel knowing that my life has meaning in Christ. That those people that I come in contact with, and that NewSpring had the chance to touch, are able to see Jesus in me. John Piper says in his book Desiring God that "God stands on the far side of the other people in our lives. We can only reach out to him if we reach out to them. We live for them to live for him." NewSpring provided that for me. It provided the opportunity to live for them... NewSpring also put me in contact with some of the planet's most amazingly dedicated, passionate and committed people I have ever known. Kirt and Tyler were amazing leaders. They are godly, but on top of that...they were wildly passionate about NewSpring and it's vision. Through their leadership I was able to see first hand that that type of passion really does exist!! And if I can harness 5% of that then I would be a better person than I was before. They love their families, they love their God, and they loved NewSpring. They gave up a lot at times to dedicate their lives to NewSpring and to follow the calling God placed in their hearts. This is truly amazing. And of course...the band. Oh how I love the NewSpring band. We evolved into an awesome team of people that were committed to one love. We might not have started from day one together...but darn it...we finished strong and we finished as friends. I wouldn't have wanted to spend my early Sunday morning hours and afternoon lunches with any other group than this group that took NewSpring home. They are such talented people...it amazed me at times..and other times I thought...why am I amazed...God made them crazy talented and brought them to NewSpring at the perfect time. I seriously LOVED playing with them for the last year or so. These people are amazing...they are talented...they are passionate and they are my friends. We have weathered many things together both in our personal lives and at NewSpring and yet each Sunday morning...we put all the commotion of life aside to play our freakin' hearts out for God. Each of them oozed love for Jesus and that is inspiring. Our fearless leader, the great TZ... he not only dedicated his life to NewSpring vision, but also to us...personally holding us accountable to higher standards and a deeper love. He genuninely cared about us and wanted life to be good for us. He did soooo much work that we didn't even see. We love that guy. I mean I love that guy because he's the best thing in the entire world for my sister and their little gal. I know that he thinks of them first and that he provides for them always. I know that my sister and Emery will ALWAYS be taken care of and that they will always be lead by a man who love his God first and foremost. I know that when he stands before Christ...he will be rewarded for both his dedication to life in Christ and his leadership and love for his family. While I might have hated him at first because he was stealing my sister from me...I love the guy now. I will miss playing every Sunday with him at the helm. NewSpring touched many lives over the 4 years that it existed. And I am proud to say that I was a part of that. NewSpring is done, but the things I have learned are not. So tonight when I turned off my alarm...it was weird. I layed there in bed for a moment knowing I would miss hearing the alarm and had a few tears for the times that we had together as a team. A team of dedicated NewSpring servants...

I love when a plan comes together.

So we had a plan...we HAVE a plan and we have been sticking too it and getting great news along the way!!

So...since the last blog entry I have done a few things.

1) The HSG test, aka. the dye test. This was the test where they injected dye in me that outlined my uterus and showed if it was shaped right and made sure that there were no other anatomical issues (bad tubes etc). For those people that have done this...I'm sorry. For those people getting ready to do this...it is uncomfortable and hurts. But it's not horrible and nothing like a miscarriage. :0)

Good news from this = my uterus is shaped just fine!!! AND my tubes are just great! So that was a HUGE relief. Since those are anatomical things...they would be harder to fix than other things I'm working on. So that was GREAT news for us.

2) Chromosome test...it's a blood draw that they test to make sure that my chromosomes are in the right order. If Mike's were wrong and mine were wrong...we would never successfully make a baby because my body would always reject it due to "chromosomal abnormalities".

Good new from this = my chromosomes were great!!!

3) Egg quality test...this is a blood draw as well. This tests to make sure I have good eggs and that they are top shelf vodka and not Natty Ice beer.

Good news from this = my eggs are of "excellent quality"! WAHOOO!!!!!

Another part of the plan that I did NOT explain in the last post was my functional medicine part of life. What that means is...is that deep in my soul...i know there is a reason my body rejects our babies. I know that it's not just as easy as shooting me up with hormones and MAKING me keep the babies. I want to know WHY. I want to know what is causing my body to do this and I want to fix it. Not just so we can have babies...but so that the body God gave me lasts for as long as it can. Most doctors would just say I'm unlucky...or it's just what happens...or maybe next time you'll get lucky...or we can give you injections to make your body think everything is ok. Functional medicine doctors find the cause of the symptom.

I'm not saying that anyone who takes the injections is wrong. I'm saying for me...I'm an answers type girl. I don't want to cover up the problem and not figure out what the heck is going on. So...luckily for me...I have a good friend from college who is a doctor. And not just any doctor. He's a functional medicine doctor...which means that he gets to the root cause. He follows the issue back using all kinds of tests to track what exactly is going on and why my body is behaving like this. He helps women like me figure out why we miscarry or why some can't get preggo at all. We've been chatting back and forth about my issues and he offered to help me even though he is in Iowa! So, of course, I took him up on it!

So I've been working with Zac to figure out what the issue is. I will attempt to explain in a very basic way (since I'm not smart enough to do any more than that!). Basically from the tests we've done so far...we know this. We know that my body is stressed out. And while I don't feel stressed...something inside my body is causing it to think it's stressed. So then we did another test...it showed some other things that helped him know that my "stress" was causing my hormones to go out of whack. It appears as though...my intestines are not absorbing the right amount of vitamins. Which means that...they are releasing bacteria into my body. And because of that...my body attacks this bacteria and fights with all it's might to keep it away from all my parts. This bacteria causes stress to my body...which is causing my body to say...."I will only help those things that are necessary and anything other than the basics is out of the question to support". Therefore...baby is out of the question. So...now we go deeper. We need to figure out why my intestines are freaking out. It could be a food allergy...but it also could be a metal sensitivity. Which is the path we are going down right now based on a few other findings.

So this week...i'm going to get blood drawn and send it off to the lab to get tested to see if I have a sensitivity to metals. The reason this is important is....if I have this sensitivity then what would happen is...the metals would be in my body causing stress and pissing off my hormones. When the hormones are pissed...babies don't work out. So I need to see if metals are an issue for me. You might be wondering...how exactly does one acquire metals...it can be from a LOT of different ways. It can be from second hand cigarette smoke, from work environment, a factory, foods we eat, and losing weight. So...anything can cause metal to come into our bodies...the difference is...is that some people have a sensitivity and others don't. Most people go on with life and never know a difference. Other people don't have immediate reactions (nausea etc), but rather have long term implications (like me and miscarriages). So I need to see if I have this sensitivity and if i do...i need to stop with foods that contain metal and also get rid of the metal (which I'm not quite sure of that process yet).

The summary is...body is stressed...could be because metal is in there and it doesn't like it. So find out if it's metal and get rid of it...thus getting rid of the stress. If it's not...go down one of the other paths to see what is causing the stress.

I know this is a lot of information...but the takeaway from this is. I have no anatomical issues which is awesome!!! I just have hormone balance issues that can be fixed! We just have to figure out what is causing it. After we figure that out...we can adjust...and then test my hormones again to make sure all is good and then....try again!!!!

So...

ute = great

eggs = great

chromosomes = great

Upcoming plan...

Metal test

Each day we find out a little more. We are willing to be patient and find out what is going on. We are willing to spend the extra money on non-insurance covered tests to help us get answers. And mostly we are willing to trust God's timing and be sure to learn the lessons along the way making this experience that much richer.

I love it when a plan comes together...